Shallow | Center

Left Back

Phils Confirm That Changes are Coming to the NL's Shortest Power Alley

FULL DISCLOSURE, as the scribblers and talkers in the mainstream media say: I have a very vested interest in what the Phillies do to the left-field wall at Citizens Bank Park. On the same conference call in which he shone some light, however faint, on the team's general manager search, David Montgomery said the Phils had identified "some remedial action" that could be taken to make left field at CBP play more fairly for pitchers. Monty wouldn't say what fixes were being considered, but most observers believe that seats will be gone and the fence moved back, built higher, or both. And that's where the aforementioned "vested interest" comes in. My brother and I own a partial season-ticket plan whose seats are in Row 7 of Section 143 -- in other words, within spitting distance of the lovely flower bed at the top of the wall in question. So any changes to left will impact us, either displacing our seats so that those in front of us can retain theirs, or moving us closer to the pansies and giving us an even better shot at snaring a home-run ball.

Gerry's Kids

Hunsicker, Gillick Interviewed; The Phlogosphere Applauds

SEE, DAVID Montgomery? It doesn't take much to make Phillies City-State happy. In the absence of a playoff berth, we'll take your listening to us. Reports Friday that Monty talked to former Astros general manager Gerry Hunsicker about the Phils' GM opening were lauded on several fronts. Balls, Sticks, & Stuff used the word "Finally" in his headline, while Mash noted, "Alriiiiight ... Someone's doing something right." Phillies Nation chipped in that Hunsicker "has the resume and capability to put together a winner." Imagine the rapture if he actually gets hired.

Around the Horn

A Look Back at the Week That Was

• Um, now would be a good time for the Phils to get aggressive. | Phillies Nation
• A much more reasoned assessment of Andy Reid's play calling than "Will you please run the damn ball?" | Balls, Sticks, & Stuff
• David Montgomery's proper course of action is obvious even to those across the pond. | Mash
• The Daily News simultaneously rocks and sucks. | Philadelphia Will Do
• Baseball coaches should be seen and not heard -- actually, not even seen. | Beerleaguer
• The Amazing Race: Family Edition finally finds its mojo. | A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago
• Don't like how the Phils' GM search is going? Blame the media! | Caught Looking
• Fighting in hockey totally, like, rules. | Minutiae
• How Marc Iavaroni doesn't make a list of greatest Sixers in the last 25 years is beyond me. | It Moves Me!
• Maybe it's not so bad that Reading Terminal Market is eighty-sixing some vendors. | Philebrity
• Phillyist gets a new sportswriter. | Phillyist
• Frank Fitzpatrick is back to being unable to bring the funny. But if it's blatant homophobia you want, he's your man. | Morning Bytes

'Desperate' Times, 'Desperate' Measures

Next Week: Look for a Plane Crash to Strand the Higglytown Heroes on a South Pacific Island

THIS ISN'T YOUR FATHER'S Sesame Street, as I've discovered time and time again while while my daughter sits enraptured in front of the satanic spawn that is Elmo. For anyone who thinks the PBS stalwart is stuck in the '70s, I offer an episode from the other day as a counterargument. A sketch designed to illustrate that plants need water and sunlight to grow and thrive was called "Desperate Houseplants," and featured, yes, a Muppet gardener in a wife-beater. In the bit the gardener notices a pair of droopy plants sitting in a window; he waters the one with arid soil ("The soil looks ... dry," he says breathily) and pulls up the awning so that sunlight reaches the other. All that's missing is a towel-clad Muppet Edie hanging around Oscar's trash can.

A Brighter Shade of Pale

Chicago Understands That Character Counts

THE GENERAL MANAGER of the world-champion White Sox is quoted in Phil Sheridan's column today saying something very interesting about fans in the Windy City:

"We were 35 games over .500," [Ken] Williams said, "and people are saying, 'The Sox stink.' You have to understand that the people of Chicago have earned the right to feel the negativity right through their excitement. We have disappointed our fan base to the point where they expect the worst."

Shameless Self-Promotion

Extending My Reach to the World of Alternative Weeklies

LAST WEEK, WHEN City Paper managing editor Brian Hickey offered to turn over his weekly "How They'll Lose" column -- a tongue-in-cheek "prediction" of how the Eagles would go down in flames the following Sunday -- to a reader, I wondered who'd be foolish enough to risk an avalanche of angry e-mails from Philadelphians who didn't get the joke. I mean, the whole point is to produce a kind of reverse-curse that would actually guarantee the Birds a W.

Then I realized: I'd be foolish enough.

Cash Out

Yanks' GM to Stay in the Bronx; Phils Rearrange the Deck Chairs

BRIAN CASHMAN'S DECISION to remain with the Yankees is hardly a surprise, unless, apparently, you work at Citizens Bank Park. Reports that the Yankees' general manager is on the verge of signing a lucrative contract extension are completely in line with precedent -- what George Steinbrenner wants, he throws big money at and usually gets.

Yet all we've read practically since the ink was dry on Ed Wade's pink slip was that Cashman was David Montgomery's No. 1 choice to replace him. Not even contacted in the two-plus weeks since Wade was sacked, according to Todd Zolecki, has been Gerry Hunsicker, who (a) is a Philly guy; (b) has experience building successful teams that play in a tiny ballpark; and (c) has put teams in the playoffs. Marcus Hayes reports in today's Daily News that Hunsicker recently had a second interview with the Devil Rays.

What's in Larry's Kool-Aid?

Bo Knows Baseball Blame-Shifting

IT'S BEEN MORE THAN a year since Larry Bowa's tenure as the Phillies' manager came to an end. You'd think that by now he'd have gone through all five stages of grief and moved on with his life. You'd be wrong. Which stage is "complete self-delusion"? In an ESPN.com story on Bowa's impending hire as the Yankees' third-base coach was this little nugget:

"If another organization had called me, I'd have probably told them 'No thanks, I like what I'm doing,'" Bowa told the New York Daily News in a phone interview last weekend. "What happened in Philadelphia kind of turned me off to it all. I thought I did a pretty good job -- we were over .500 three of the four years I was there except for one year when we missed by one game. And then for it to end the way it did, I'm just sort of down on it now.

An Off Off-Season

The Hometown Nine's Stumbling, Bumbling Pursuit of a GM and Closer

The termination of Ed Wade's contract was the best move the Phillies' front office had made in a long while, but since that day Team Dysphunction has regressed to its usual ways.

Only two weeks in and the search for Wade's replacement already feels botched. By announcing that Charlie Manuel and his coaching staff will return next season, the team has guaranteed itself some awkwardness for the new GM, who, you'd think, should have the right to hire his own guys.

Something Frigid This Way Comes

The World Series Gets Underway, and Reminds Us That Winter is Just Around the Corner

THE WORLD SERIES STARTED last night, and as promising as the matchup is, there's something just a little about sad about it. The end of the season is here. At most, there are just six games left, which means that we're about to enter the dark period -- the four months before pitchers and catchers report to Florida and Arizona. Oh, sure, there's football and college hoops and hockey to fill the sporting void, and here in Philadelphia, there should be plenty of off-season intrigue as we await just how management will screw things up this year. (They're already off to a great start with the GM search and the Billy Wagner free-agent clown show.) But the absence of baseball games means that it's winter -- cold, barren, relentless, unforgiving winter. If you're lucky, you manage to catch a glimpse of a snow-covered diamond, and you realize that the game hasn't been destroyed, just put on hiatus for a while.

Oh, and in case you're interested: My pick is Astros in seven, a final "f*** you" to Phillies City-State for 2005.