Shallow | Center

Fundamental Flaws

The Red Sox' Rain-Delayed Sweep Reveals the Depth of the Phillies' Ineptitude

YES, BY all means, let's celebrate the Phillies' gritty comeback at Fenway this afternoon. Down by six and completely baffled by Tim Wakefield's knuckler, they easily could have packed it in. Giving up isn't what I want to see, of course, but this group's legacy will not be one of heroic stands. On this day, though, Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley clocked big hits, allowing the Phillies to storm back and tie the game, forcing extra innings. The Phils even managed to squeeze a run across in the twelfth before Boston staged its own inevitable rally to take the game, 8-7, and sweep the series. So, yes, good show, lads, good show.

Okay, is that out of the way? Good.

Bush League

Brett Myers, Pat Gillick, and the Phillies Eff Up -- Big Time

Shameful and indefensible.

These are the words to describe what Brett Myers stands accused of doing to his wife.

They are the words to describe Myers's jaw-dropping regret that the matter went public. As if the thing would have been okay had he done it in his hotel room instead of outside on Boyleston Street, in front of enough eyewitnesses to convince any reasonable person that the allegations are true.

They are the words to describe the Phillies allowing Myers to embarrass his team and the city he represents by handing him the baseball yesterday to start against the Red Sox.

And they are the words to describe Pat Gillick's explanation for permitting Myers to pitch -- that, in essence, the Phillies' rotation sucks so bad that Myers's pitching skills are more important than a criminal accusation that he abused his wife.

The Phils have moved from being a laughingstock on the field to being morally bankrupt off of it. If I needed another reason to cancel my season-ticket package at the end of this season, I now have it. Underachievement is bad enough -- this weekend's behavior, from Myers to Charlie Manuel to Gillick, is unacceptable. I'm just glad my daughter is too young to read the sports page. I'd hate to have to try to explain this franchise's shameful and indefensible behavior to her.

Mea Culpa

This Is What Happens When You Don't Wait for the Final Out

COME ON -- this isn't really happening, is it? The Phillies aren't really a game away from sweeping the Yankees, are they? And at a game I'll be attending? Say it isn't so!

Ryan Howard channelled his inner Albert Pujols tonight, whacking a pair of dingers and a game-winning triple, as the Phils edged New York, 7-5. The bullpen did its job ...

With those very words, written just after Howard three-bagger in the seventh chased home a pair of runs, I doomed the Phillies to defeat. In attempting to write a celebratory post before the game was actually over, I probably jinxed the hometown nine. How was I to know that Arthur Rhodes would fall apart in the eighth? That David Bell would let a playable bouncer clang off his glove? That the Phils would take Howard's sensational night -- two homers, a triple, three RBI -- and thank him by flushing it down the toilet?

Is This Really Happening?

The Sagging Phillies Keep Seeking Rock Bottom ... and Not Finding It

FOR AN idea of just how dire are the straits in which the Phillies find themselves, consider this: They are in danger of being swept this afternoon by Tampa Bay. At home.

Win or lose, this is a very troubled team. They're losing to bad teams and good teams. They're losing because of dreadful pitching and impotent hitting. They're losing due to fielding ineptitude and baserunning gaffes. They're losing thanks to managerial cluelessness and front office indifference. They're losing despite possessing All Star-caliber players on their roster and a ballpark that was supposed to raise needed revenue. In short, they're just losing.

Ink Bomb

Once Again, the Speaker of the State House Can't Get Out of His Own Way

JOHN PERZEL, speaker of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, is going to receive deserved flak for his whining, reported today, that state legislators shouldn't earn less than tattoo artists. (It reminds one, of course, of Babe Ruth's classic response when someone observed that he had been paid more than the President: "I had a better year than he did.") I'm not sure that calling your constituents overpaid is the best campaign strategy, but the speaker has a history of this sort of thing, complaining last year about "immigrant" cow milkers in Lancaster County supposedly earning $55,000.

Stone Cole Busted

Hamels Roughed Up by D-Rays; Slide Continues

HARRY KALAS spent a lot of time on the air tonight with that tone in his voice. You know the tone -- the one that reflects what he can't actually say, that the Phillies again are sleepwalking through another awful ballgame. After losing three of four to Washington and then getting swept by the Mets, the Phils opened a three-game set against Tampa Bay with a painful, 9-4 loss. Cole Hamels got his ass kicked, and the boys in red pinstripes were kicked into a hole out of which they were unable to climb. Stop me if you're heard this before. I heard Harry on both the radio and TV, and he sounded like a guy who couldn't believe what he was seeing. This defeat dropped Philadelphia below .500, and if you can find anything positive to say about the situation, well, you're a far more optimistic fan than I. Then again, the bar there is pretty low. Past, as they say, is prologue.

Back to .500

A Sweep by the Mets Pushes the Phils Even Further Down

THERE GOES the division. The Mets' one-run victory at Citizens Bank Park this afternoon gave them a sweep of the Phillies and mercilessly shoved the hometown nine into a 9-1/2 game hole in the N.L. East standings. The terrific run of last month has completely evaporated, as the Phils have crashed to .500, that ignominious mark of mediocrity. Weren't they supposed to at least show up to play New York? This kind of nonchalance and sloppy play wasn't supposed to happen under Charlie Manuel. He's a player's manager, remember, the kind of guy his roster would go to the wall for. Unfortunately for Uncle Cholly, that wall is looking more and more like the kind you stand a condemned man in front of before you hand him a blindfold and a cigarette.

High Steaks and the Low Road

Seriously -- Can't We All Just Get Along?

FIRST THINGS first: Joey Vento, the owner of Geno's Steaks, one of the lamer tourist-trap cheesesteak joints in our fair city, is not completely wrong in posting a sign that tells his customers: "This is America. When ordering speak English." Generations of immigrants -- including my ancestors -- have come to the United States and learned the language here in order to become functioning citizens. It's just the way it is, and as a nation, it makes us stronger to have a common language.

District of Colamebia

Phillies' Squander Early Success of Lengthy Road Trip

THIS IS going to sound like typical Philadelphia-fan bitching, but I can't help it. Under ordinary circumstances, a grueling, transcontinental, 11-game road trip that ended in a 6-5 record would be cause for celebration. But dropping three of four to the Nationals at RFK to end the trip mitigated the Phillies' excellent start to their journey. Simply splitting with Washington would have left me feeling much, much better about things. Instead, it just felt like the same old Phils, getting our hopes up only to follow up with a big, fat "Psych!" Now the Mets are in for three, and while this would be a great time to pick up some ground, I'd be surprised if the New Yorkers didn't leave town having increased their lead by at least a game.

Beers to You

A Trip to the Delaware Shore Turns Up a Microbrew Treasure

AMONG THE many charms of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, is its status as the birthplace of Dogfish Head, one of the country's younger and very best craft breweries. Dogfish has enjoyed sufficient success to move its main operations to a larger facility inland, but the place on Rehoboth Avenue still operates, as a brewery, distillery, and restaurant. And so, in addition to picking up a six of the insanely smooth and very drinkable Shelter Pale Ale to fill our hotel fridge last weekend, I quaffed a couple of pints of DH's 60-Minute IPA at dinner on the brewpub's deck one night. Delightfully dry and hoppy, it was a terrific complement to the tasty thin-crust pizza I had it with. A big part of the appeal of the microbrew renaissance, I think, is the stark contrast it presents to traditional American corporate brewing. While Anheuser-Busch, Miller, and Coors employ vastly more accountants and marketers than brewers, the beers really worth drinking got their start in the not-too-distant past in guys' basements and garages. From well-known brands such as Sam Adams and Pete's Wicked to up-and-comers such as Dogfish Head, Flying Fish, and Yards, the focus is on crafting a drink with character and taste, not manufacturing benign enough to move lots of it. It makes a beer geek and would-be entrepreneur wonder.