Less Than Meets the Eye

'Transformers' Parties Like It's 1984

IN EVERY sense of the phrase, Transformers is a Michael Bay movie. It's loud, too long, preposterous, visually bracing, and kinda fun. Once you get past the reality of watching a film inspired by children's toys, you can settle in and enjoy yourself.

The seamlessness of the CGI robots is breathtaking, which is a good thing, considering you don't -- or shouldn't -- go to a movie like this for plot, character development, or acting. (It should be noted though, that the charismatic Shia LaBeouf acquits himself well, playing matters straight during the rare times it's necessary but mostly skating through the thing with just the right amount of 'tude.) All of the faves from the old cartoon are here, along with a bevy of live-action characters ranging from mildly amusing (John Turturro's slimy fed) to completely ridiculous (Megan Fox's absurdly hot high school student.) When the vehicles are transforming and the battle scenes are underway, it's easy to hunker down into your bucket of popcorn and lose yourself. When the messaging starts -- can the humans learn to get along before they destroy each other and the planet blah blah blah -- get up and go to the bathroom.

Rating: *** (of 5)